Curious about using a vibrator? You’re not alone. Many women turn to vibrators to achieve the big O. In fact, a study published in July 2009 in the Journal of Sexual Medicine found that 53 percent of women ages 18 to 60 have used a vibrator, and one-quarter of them have used it in the past month. Plus, those who use a vibrator regularly were more easily aroused and better able to become lubricated and achieve an orgasm.
So should you try using a vibrator? Absolutely. Here’s why it’s healthy, and how to incorporate it into your sex life — solo and with a partner.
Why It’s Healthy to Use a Vibrator
The benefits of using the battery-operated device abound. If you choose to try it solo, you can discover what turns you on without feeling any pressure or expectations from your partner, says Kristin Zeising, PsyD, a psychologist and sex therapist in San Diego. She recommends experimenting with it all over your body to discover erogenous zones you may not know about. Finding out what feels good will help you give your partner more guidance and make sex more pleasurable.
Incorporating a vibrator into your sexual repertoire can also boost your bond with your mate. “Anything that brings more pleasure to your sex life can help your relationship,” says Zeising. Plus, opening up a conversation about sex toys can foster better communication with your partner in general.
How to Bring a Vibrator Into the Bedroom
Think your mate will be opposed to using a vibrator? Think again. According to another study published in July 2009 in the Journal of Sexual Medicine, 45 percent of men have used a vibrator, and most said they did so with their female partner. What’s more, men who used vibrators had better erectile function and were more satisfied during sex than those who didn’t.
So how can you bring up the conversation with your partner? Zeising recommends suggesting it as a way to add to the fun you’re already having. Reassure your partner that your desire to use a vibrator has nothing to do with his performance. “Remind him that he’s the one who turns you on and that the vibrator is just a tool to help you along the way,” says Zeising. And remember: You don’t have to use it during every sexual encounter.
When you’re both ready, go shopping for a vibrator together so you can find one that you’re both comfortable with. Then, play around with it to figure out what feels good, suggests Zeising. Use it on yourself or each other — and don’t be afraid to let your partner take the lead.